One of Wishes Completed

How happy I am!
Yeah who is not happy if they can reach their wish. or dream come true.
It's been long time, I knew my parents wanted to visit their relative in china especially my father. Yeah our grand (grand grand) father came from China especially in Meizhou county where all the people in the province speaks hakka.

I did researched about how to go to Meizhou. Thanks to Hakka United group in Facebook, from this group i collected information to visit Meizhou. Of course, we wanted to know Hakka Culture deeply by visiting this area.

I knew My parents had a hope to visit this place someday.

In 2010, when i was a jobless. I ever told my parents, that we will visit Meizhou someday. they just smiled.
Then, I got Job in Seoul again. I was thinking that it's gonna be difficult to bring them to meizhou.
After i got my current Job, here in Singapore. I told to my parents again that we will go to Meizhou, but they were not ready yet.

Anyway, after few months, when i was free and still had remaining leaves. I pushed my parents especially my father that we will go to Meizhou. They said that they had no money. I told them that I paid the flight tickets. Then, finally I told them, I will pay everything. I will bear everything (Hotel, Transportation, meals, etc).

Then, who know I got bonus semester. Although the amount was not so big, but it might help me to support our trip.

Then 9 Oct in the morning, we flied to Guangzhou by budget airlines. we didn't use any travel agent or tour guide. we just traveled free & easy since my father can read and speak chinese well. From guangzhou, we took bus to Meizhou. Our trip had no detail plan for everyday activities. Even my father had no phone number and detail address to visit his brother (cousin).

For three nights we stayed in Meizhou in hotel, We chartered taxi to bring us sightseeing in Meizhou and to see hakka tulou in dapu and yongding, because we couldn't find local tour. So we knew the traditional house of our ancestor.

During three days, my father oftenly asked people he met about
"zhong buk ban", the place where my grand father from, and where many zhong families lives there. Nobody know. Even I tried to check internet but useless.

Then we moved to my mom's relatives place. we had their phone number and address, but we never met them. We stayed 2 nights overthere. eventhough we couldn't sleep well but we were happy to meet them. They are too many, cannot remember all.

One of sister, siau ching ( i called her sister), brought us to see around the city. In the bus, again my father asked somebody. But they didn't know the place. Then we had lunch together again with my mom's brothers. Finally my father could remember another information of the place, "sam gak gi" which now is called sam gak zen. The sister asked somebody (driver) who know the place to bring us. And we had to say goodbye to them. Gonna miss them. My mom's brother informed to their uncle in Guangzhou. Then they asked us to visit him in Guangzhou.

In our journey to sam gak zen, the driver oftenly asked somebody who know the place we looked for. He asked to some people. Finally, we saw small town and we stopped beside a man who were standing at the street. This guy know the place. we showed him photo of the people that we were looking for. He suddenly said that the man is his grandfather. wow! We were happy especially my father, tears came out from his eyes.

Finally all big family from my father side met, they are from xinning and shenzhen too. wow, it was very big family. We stayed for 1 night. then we had to move to Guangzhou.

At Guangzhou, my sukkung and his family treated us very well too. Wow, blessing came down on us. We never expected that we received many blessing from all families in china.
And you know, i counted the amount of money we spent, include transportation in sinagpore & Indonesia and visa and all in china include airline ticket. All just nice, about same amount to my bonus. wow, thanks God for everything.

note: there were a lot of lessons and funny things during our trip.
- We had to speak Bahasa Indonesia (not hakka anymore) when we talked something secret. But we oftenly forgot. hope they couldn't understand due to our hakka dialect.
- We enjoyed all the food. And accidentally, i ate dog meat again. waaaa....
- My parents spoke hakka mixed with bahasa, not because they didn't know the word but because it's habit in Indonesia...hahahaha...sometime I reminded them...
- I learnt hakka chinese culture especially tea.
- My parents got a lot of angpao. blesssing...before we thought that we would spend a lot of money to give our relatives angpao.

I am gonna miss this trip moment.

"What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived". The things God has prepared for those who love him." I Cor 2:9

ID.

A review after a year

Dear Reader,

I have been completed living in Singapore for a year. I like this city or country. I have learned many things within a year. I think it's because of the language. This city is also save. and of courese, I am more close to my family who was living in Indonesia. Through any kind relationship, I've learned a lot. Thanks to God who has allowed me to live in Singapore. I'd like to settle in Singapore, and until i get marry, maybe i have to follow my future husband.

Eventhough it's quite boring to spend weekend in this small country, but i still like Singapore because knowledge and information is easy to get.
But still I don't like to stay in apartment. I meant i don't expect to retire in small apartment because I like garden.

The company where i work currently sent me to Europe last October. It was my first time to cross from Asia. It's Italy. I've never thought that i will be sent to Europe. Eventhough It's short trip but i was happy. I could visit Bergamo, Milan and Venice!.
And now I am going to Meizhou where my anccestor came from. I will go with my parents. Thanks to God who give me chance to bring my parents to visit our ancestor place. ID

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Eph 3:20

I am His branches

“You are the branches that are being cleaned”.


This message was very strong and kept repeating in my ears. I got this message from God after I prayed and I was asking God to tell me what I should do. That time, I was very confused, frustrated, and desperate.
I was at the end of my third year in Korea, August 2010. I wanted to leave Korea and planned not to continue my contract. But I was confused, because I didn’t have yet new job if I leave Korea. I was thinking of my parents. I had to feed them took care of them. My father was not working anymore.

After I heard this message, I told God that I would not take any actions I would not end my contract. I would just surrender to God, give up everything to God. And I still wished maybe I could find new job till the end of year and I would resign at the end of year. I told to my Egyptian friend (Mahmoud) that I would continue my contract.

Few days later, about a month before 16 Sept 2010, I was told by my boss that I couldn’t continue my contract and I had to leave Korea on 16 Sept 2010. I was very broken that time. But I could accept the decision, and I would do my plan that is to find Job in Singapore. The working place that I’ve dreamed so much because it’s nearby to my hometown. I was very sad because I had to leave my friends in Korea. I was very busy looking for new job, I tried to get job in Singapore but I also sent my CV to Indonesia. Some friends help me.

After the news, at weekend (Saturday), I was going to have a picnic that was arranged by DMF. DMF is English worship service church of Yoido Full Gospel Church. It was my first time to join them. I joined them because I need a change, I hoped I could change my life. But who knows I should leave Korea. During the picnic, I was surprised by some sisters. They were very warm. They hug me and very welcome me. It was my first time to meet them. Unfortunately I had to leave Korea. We went to Cheonju. I started to like DMF people.

16th Sept 2010, I left Korea. I left my beloved friends, my colleagues, my bosses, my church friends. I was crying in my bus driver car during the journey from Anyang city to Airport. I contacted some closed friends. I cried a lot. And I cried in plane during the journey from Korea to Jakarta. After I arrived Jakarta, Tintin (ex-housemate in Jakarta) picked me up. I had two interviews about 7-10 days in Jakarta. Then I went to Pekanbaru and finally Dumai. Everyday I sent my cv to Singapore. I planned to go to Singapore after a month in Dumai. I also took driving lesson. Everyday I prayed and asked God to give me sign to move on and not stuck in Dumai. Basically I was accepted by one company in Jakarta but still in negotiation state. I was not feeling peaceful working in Jakarta. I told God I wanted to try Singapore. “Please give me a sign so that I can leave Indonesia and try to get job in Singapore”.

Few days later, one company in Singapore invited me for interview at the end of October. I was very happy. I attended the interview, I was accepted but the offering was disappointing. Many head hunters contacted me but no progress. Then I decided to take the job from the local company. I had to come to the office on Monday to apply employment pass. I felt no peaceful. I was confused. I asked God please give me sign so that I know whether it’s His will or not.
On Sunday, I attended to City Harvest Church for the first time. I knew this Church from Christa (my church friend in Korea). That time Ps. Kong Hee preached about seasons in Christian people life. He explained the season one by one and finally to Winter Season. He explained during the winter, people cleaned the dry branches so that it could produce more life. I was reminded to God message when I was in Korea, “You are the branches that are being cleaned”. I was crying and believed new life will come after winter season on my life.

On Monday, I found that the contract condition of the local company was disappointing. Because I asked God to give me a sign through the contract, I didn’t take the Job. I negotiated before I decided, but no result. Still didn’t have job, I was worry of my future. I decided to have Job in Indonesia. I called one of Indonesian company that already gave me offering, but seem the company already forgot me. It was at the end of year, difficult to find jobs. Few days later, a Korean company asked me to go to Jakarta for interview. Basically, I didn’t want to go back and work in Korea anymore. Yes, I missed Korea too much and missed my friends too much. I will give chance to Korea again. I was reminded to obey. Just obey and go back to Korea even though I didn’t like.

Early of December, I signed the contract with the Korean company. I though I had time to look for Job beside Korean Company. During waiting for my visa to Korea, I had two another interviews in good companies in Indonesia. I was accepted but I felt no satisfy again with the offerings. Basically, it’s because I had no heart to work in Jakarta anymore.
I flied back to Korea, and just obeyed. I hope I could like the Company and would be feel happy. I was thinking to change my driving license to Korean license too. Who knows I couldn’t happy by working for the company. I was very busy and worked under pressure everyday. It’s really Korean Culture. My boss was a stubborn man, workaholic, forced me left home late, and always complaint. My team mates was two faces kind of people. They told bad things about me to my boss and treated me very bad and unprofessional.
Again I asked God. What happened????!!!.....I complained and cried. I was very sad, I was thinking to leave my job and run away from Korea. My ex-colleagues from previous company also left me. They never had time to meet me. I missed them very much. I was very broken. I lost everything.

When I came back to Korea, I attended DMF again. I met again the sisters that ever had picnic to Cheonju together. They were very friendly and warm. Sunny, Jojo, Steffanie, Grace, Jinjoo, and Young-ah. Because I had no close friends anymore, I met them. They welcomed me to join their cellgroup. From the pastor Kwon speech, and the cellgroup fellowship. Slowly I learnt to keep in faith on God. I practiced the 4th Dimension that was preached by Ps. Kwon every Sunday. Slowly I could accept my condition and forget my ex-colleagues. Sometime God guided me so that I could have a breakthrough in life. I asked for breakthrough in life. Everyday I prayed and claimed, tried to think positively and changed my life-style (sleep late) and to sleep earlier, to pray earlier, to send my CV again, to have regular fasting, and to do exercise.
I was contacted by some head hunters from any countries. And finally I attended an interview in Singapore during my vacation after 6 months working for the 2nd company in Korea. I was accepted and got much better offering and even almost double than the first local company in Singapore that ever offered me. I was very very happy. I couldn’t imagine. God answered my pray. God blessed me very much. Even I could get free ticket that I never thought to leave Korea. I was so blessed. I am happy with everything and new life in Singapore.

Before I left Korea, God reminded me again. That time was earlier of Autumn. I went picnic for the 2nd time with DMF people. At the mountain, I found and picked some fruits. Autumn is my favorite season. I remembered again the Speech of Ps. Kong hee last year and about God message that telling me I was in winter condition. During the picnic, as if God said "you are in Harvest time”.

" ...I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful....." John 15:1-2

Thank you Jesus. ID

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Love at the first sight

When you saw me then i saw you...
time stop for a while
I felt my blood circulated faster
and i could feel thru your eyes
we had same feeling

I don't know you, you don't know me
but this feeling was quite strong
are you the one? am I the one?
we were confused

When you started to talk,
Your eyes never moved
and i felt shy and asked to myself
are you the one?

But this feeling has been stopped
The power of mind is also strong
This mind doesn't want you,
This feeling is missing you,
I don't know you and you don't know me
Love at first sight of us is not strong enough.ID

May God touch you someday.....

Hati yang gundah

Hatiku, kenapa engkau menyiksa dirimu?
Kenapa engkau menangis?
Dimanakah yang kamu rindukan?

Kenapa harus ada pertemuan yang menggetarkan hati,
kalau itu hanya sia-sia.
Kenapa harus ada cinta timbul dari hati,
kalau itu tidak kunjung berbunga dan berbuah.

Tenanglah hai jiwaku
Tenanglah hatiku
Tuhan menjagamu dan mengerti kamu.
Dia akan menjawab segala pertanyaanmu
dan membuat segalanya menjadi jelas.

Aku rindu Tuhan, Aku rindu campur tanganMu Yesus.ID

Puisi yang ditulis dalam diary-ku pada 25 January 2007.

Aku membaca ulang tulisan curhatan hatiku di diary dan menemukan puisi ini.

Essay in Self Development Class while in University

I was smiling when i read those essay after about 9 years. Some of my characters has changed already. they were written when i was in university and in Self Development Class. My lecturer gave the students task to tell about our self and character. See below essay:

Saya seorang mahasiswa Teknik Mesin Universitas Gadjah Mada. Saya memilih perguruan tinggi ini karena perguruan tinggi ini adalah perguruan tinggi negeri sehingga spp-nya lumayan murah, dipercayai oleh beberapa perusahaan dan biaya hidup di Yogyakarta yang murah. Saya memilih jurusan ini karena saya ingin merancang mesin yang sesuai tuntutan zaman. Saya tidak cukup energik untuk melakukan kegiatan yang membutuhkan tenaga besar sehingga saya tidak berminat mengambil kegiatan yang berhubungan dengan olahraga.
Sesungguhnya saya suka berorganisasi tetapi saya belum pernah terlibat dalam kepengurusan di salah satu organisasi yang ada di Universitas Gadjah Mada. Akan tetapi saya pernah terlibat dalam kepanitiaan penyelenggaraan paskah teknik 2000 atas nama Badan Eksekutif Mahasiswa Fakultas Teknik Universitas Gadjah Mada. Saat itu saya menjabat sebagai seksi konsumsi. Hingga sekarang saya tergabung dalam kepengurusan persekutuan pemuda Bethany. Dengan tergabung didalamnya sedikit demi sedikit saya mempunyai keberanian untuk tampil di depan umum. Sudah hampir 1,5 tahun saya tergabung di dalam persekutuan tersebut dan kini saya diangkat sebagai koordinator “Creative Ministry”. Saya cukup banyak mempunyai kenalan dari anak SLTP sampai orang yang sudah bekerja. Dan menurut saya, saya orang yang cukup bergaul. Mungkin karena teman saya kurang mengenal saya sehingga menyebut saya kurang bergaul. Saya juga menjaga pergaulan saya yaitu jangan sampai pergaulan itu merusak hidup saya.
Saya selalu hadir dalam setiap perkuliahan. Jika saya tidak hadir disebabkan karena saya mempunyai kepentingan yang tidak bisa ditinggalkan misalnya pada jadwal yang sama ada praktikum. Saya cukup rajin untuk belajar di luar jam kuliah dan semua tugas yang diberikan dosen selalu saya kerjakan.
Saya menjadi bersemangat jika tugas-tugas yang diberikan menarik. Menarik tidaknya tugas, selalu saya selesaikan dengan segera. Saya tidak suka menunda-nunda dan mengulur-ulur waktu terhadap segala tugas yang diberikan. Saya selalu menyelesaikannya tepat pada waktunya dan cepat. Sikap tersebut membuat saya dinilai rajin dan disiplin. Saya belum pernah berpikir bahwa saya orang yang disiplin sehingga teman menilai saya seperti itu. Jika tugas yang diberikan sangat sulit, mula-mula saya harus belajar dan belajar lagi dan berusaha mencari pemecahannya dan jika saya tidak bisa mencari pemecahannya, saya akan bertanya pada teman saya dan jika bisa kami akan bekerjasama. Keinginan kuat saya untuk mencapai tujuan dan memperoleh hasil membuat saya dinilai sebagai orang yang berambisi.
Jika bekerja kelompok, saya selalu menanyakan pendapat teman-teman terlebih dahulu walaupun sudah mengetahui jawabannya. Hal ini selalu saya terapkan karena kemungkinan ide dan pendapat mereka lebih baik. Dari hal ini saya mengetahui bahwa kepemimpinan saya ke arah konsultatif dan partisipatif. Sesungguhnya saya suka bekerja sendiri daripada berkelompok karena kejadian yang sering saya tenui jika bekerja kelompok adalah ngobrol dan banyak waktu yang terbuang begitu saja. Walaupun saya tetap mengakui hasil kerja dari kerjasama biasanya lebih baik daripada hasil kerja perorangan.
saya suka belajar dengan cara latihan karena rumus-rumus yang ada lebih mudah diingat dan biasanya bertahan lebih lama daripada belajar dengan cara menghafal. Saya tidak bisa serius belajar jika tanpa tekanan misalnya ada test atau merasa tersaingi. Dalam hal sainganlah yang membuat saya belajar giat baik dengan cara menghafal maupun latihan. Oleh karena itu, saya suka bersaing walaupun saingan kadang-kadang membuat saya jenuh (lelah dan bosan).
Saya kecewa jika seseorang tidak menepati janjinya karena orang tersebut bisa kehilangan kepercayaan saya terhadapnya. Saya tidak suka berbohong (jujur). Oleh karena iu, saya selalu berusaha menepati janji yang diberikan saya kepada orang lain. Saya tidak mau orang lain kehilangan kepercayaan terhadap saya. Saya selalu berpegang pada prinsip yang saya miliki dan prinsip tersebut harus sesuai dengan ajaran agama yang saya anut. saya termasuk orang yang suka beribadah dan berdoa sehingga teman menilai saya sebagai orang yang bertaqwa.
Jika ada masalah, saya sering mengeluh dan jika saya bingung, saya sering mengajukan pertanyaan yang mendetail sehingga teman-teman saya menilai saya sebagai orang yang cerewet. Dengan keluhan yang saya ucapkan lebih membuat beban saya menjadi ringan. Keluhan tersebut disebabkan saya khawatir terhadap masalah yang saya hadapi. Saya senang melakukan segala sesuatunya yang sudah tersusun rapi dan terencana baik. Dan saya tidak suka jika ada yang mengganggu susunan rencana saya karena saya harus berpikir lagi dan menyusun ulang rencana saya. Dan hal inilah yang kadang-kadang membuat saya khawatir. Saya merasa rapi dari segi penyusunan rencana dan tujuan bukan penampilan, buku-buku dan barang-barang yang tersusun rapi. Tidak tersusunnya buku dan barang-barang disebabkan saya sedang sibuk saat itu. Teman menilai saya cuek karena penampilan saya.
Saya termasuk orang yang suka memperhitungkan kerugian dan keuntungan atau kebaikan dan keburukan yang akan saya alami ketika saya mengambil keputusan.
Sikap perhitungan dan hemat saya membuat saya dinilai pelit oleh teman saya. Biasanya dalam kasus meminjam buku catatan. Kadang-kadang saya meminjamkan buku catatan saya kepada orang yang meminjamnya. Dan jika saya tidak meminjamkan buku catatan saya disebabkan saya sedang butuh catatan tersebut pada saat ia meminjamnya atau disebabkan orang yang meminjam sulit dihubungi dan jarang ditemui atau juga orang yang meminjam sering lupa mengembalikan buku tersebut dan juga karena kebiasaan teman yang malas mencatat sehingga selalu meminjam dari saya. Kebiasaan teman yang malas tersebut membuat saya ingin mengajarnya supaya tidak kebiasaan dengan sikap malas mencatat.
Dengan persepsi terhadap diri saya yaitu agresif mengerjakan sesuatu (militan), disiplin, berpendirian, rajin, taqwa, jujur, menepati janji dan berambisi menunjukkan saya berbakat untuk menjadi seorang pemimpin.maupun yang dipimpin. Hanya saya gugup tampil di depan umum meskipun sebelum tampil saya mempunyai motivasi yang kuat untuk tampil. Kegugupan tersebut membuat saya lupa dengan ide-ide dan gagasan yang ingin saya sampaikan. Saya juga mengalami kesulitan dalam menggunakan bahasa yang resmi, saya kurang terampil berbahasa sehingga saya mengalami kesulitan dalam menjelaskan sesuatu. Sikap ceroboh juga mengganggu saya sehingga soal yang saya kerjakan yang sebelumnya saya yakin bisa menjawabnya dengan benar menjadi salah. Saya ingin sekali mengurangi kegugupan dan kecerobohan saya itu serta saya juga ingin mengurangi kesulitan saya menggunakan bahasa yang terampil.
Dari hasil analisis kepemimpinan tentang diri saya, saya cukup luwes menggunakan gaya kepemimpinan yang berarti gaya kepemimpinan saya tidak cendrung sama pada semua situasi. Hal ini bisa dilihat dari matriks pada halaman terakhir (terlampir). Dan dari hasil analisis kepemimpinan itu juga diperoleh bahwa gaya kepemimpinan pertama saya adalah konsultatif (tinggi tugas tinggi hubungan) yaitu pemimpin memberikan pengarahan yang cukup tetapi sudah menggunakan komunikasi dua arah dan memberi dukungan terhadap bawahan dan yang kedua adalah partisipatif (rendah tugas tinggi hubungan) yaitu adanya kesetimbangan atas pemecahan masalah dan pengambilan keputusan antara atasan dan bawahan. Gaya kepemimpinan yang bisa lebih dikembangkan adalah direktif (tinggi tugas rendah hubungan) dan delegating (rendah tugas rendah hubungan). Saya akui bahwa saya jarang menggunakan gaya ini jika memimpin. Efektifitas gaya kepemimpinan saya menunjukkan angka yang baik.
Saya terbuka dengan kritikan jika kritikan tersebut bersifat membangun. Saya mau memperbaiki kekurangan saya. Akan tetapi jika kritikan tersebut menyangkut kebiasaan membutuhkan waktu yang cukup lama untuk mengubahnya. Kritikan atas ide dan rencana yang saya susun tidak selalu saya alami. Kadang-kadang saya menjadi pendengar yang baik. Jika seseorang mengeluh akan kesulitannya, saya bersedia mendengar walaupun tidak bisa memberi jawaban atas masalah yang dihadapinya. Menurut saya jika mendengar keluhannya maka beban orang tersebut akan menjadi lebih ringan. Saya bisa menjadi pendengar yang tidak baik jika saya mengikuti seminar, kuliah, atau diskusi yang membosankan.
Saya menilai diri bisa dipimpin karena saya mau mengerjakan tugas yang dibebankan pada saya dan selalu saya selesaikan dengan segera.